i almost talk about this shit every year but why is that every year crime rate sky rockets around the holidays?

theres nothing shittier than dropping your phone in the toilet. you lose contact with the world. my friends and family couldn't find me and some were sooo worried. my job couldn't find me but luckily i hired an awesome maintenance supervisor that held it down. my weekend dealers were no longer reachable since i don't have any of their telephone numbers memorized.... what an inconvenience!...

but at the same time it made me realize how much of my daily life is spent on the phone doing things that i really dont want to do. its like i'd been set free from these digital handcuffs and was free to walk the world as i pleased. it almost felt barbaric to have been with out my phone. like i shoulda been eating raw meat and skinning hide...sooo weird lol.

so i slip the old sim card in the new phone and wait for it. 58 missed calls, 26 voicemails with a full mail box. arg!

cell phones, you can't live with them, can't live without .

i quit smoking cigarettes last wednesday at 12:04am. i went three days without having one and then saturday night rolls around and the path to kicking my smoking habit gets blocked. i ended up having 4 cigarettes that night post multiple crown shots. The roadblocks here are alcohol and cocaine. after this past weekend ive decided that ill also be quitting these two drugs as well...for now at least lol. The urge to suck down the suculent smoke from a freshly lit cigarette is just way too unmanageable for me after indulging in these two chemicals.

my chest fuckin hurts. partly cause of push-ups but mainly cause of my coughing. i feel like my rib cage is gonna cave in at times. i got this gnarly cough now and all the shit im coughing up is super dense and neon nasty. my brother says its a good thing cause it's a sign that my lungs are still able to heal and recover. my parents think im sick and are afraid to get near me. haha

every time i see a pen or a pencil i think of cigarettes. when i look at my fingers or a straw, hell, i was having a sausage roll this morning and the sausage inside the roll even reminded me of smoking. i gotta stay occupied in order to keep my mind off of thinking about it. i guess thats why im writing this.

i had my first cigarette 10 years ago. and the past couple of years have definitely been my heaviest smoking years. i went from averaging half a pack a day to not having any at all. most people call this quitting cold turkey. personally, i don't get the expression. i like turkey, i don't not like the cold....i don't get it. what relationship could a cold turkey have with abruptly quitting an addiction.

i think gradually cutting back is a good way to quit smoking. i think smoking ultra lights to quit smoking is complete bull shit. i was thinking about buying a pack of nicorette gum but then martin told me that it made his teeth and gums really sensitive and plus a pack of nicorette is almost $40. way too exspensive for something im just gonna be chewing up and spitting out.